Whose life is it, like, anyway?
by vine
Summary: Well, Kitty’s a Valley girl computer wiz hint of things to come, Rogue’s Goth invulnerable in love with Bobby, and Scott just has a stick up his ass, wherever you’re from. So what happens when they meet their match, themselves?
1. Chapter 1

Whose life is it, like, anyway?

Well, Kitty's a Valley girl/computer wiz/ hint of things to come, Rogue's Goth/invulnerable/in love with Bobby, and Scott just has a stick up his ass, wherever you're from. So what happens when they meet their match; themselves?

AN: About the accents, it's my first time trying to write them, so I'm sure they're totally off. If anyone has any hints or constructive criticism, then please review.

The day started out as any normal day. So normal, in fact, that when Kitty declared that she was 'going to like, check the mail,' no one even looked up.

Kitty flounced down the driveway, not really caring if people stared at her. She was thinking about her date with Lance that night, and had already picked out exactly what to wear. She was considering switching her pink blouse to a blue one, when she arrived at the end of the driveway. Not even bothering to open the latch, she phased her hand into the mailbox and grabbed the first things she came in contact with. This was habit. A few weeks ago, Jamie had thought it funny to put some cooked spaghetti in the front of the mailbox, as a 'joke'.

Excitement bubbled in her as she pulled out a few bills, and two brown-wrapped packages. She hurriedly peeked at the tags, but there was no return address, just a neatly typed note that said: To the Xavier Household. Kitty giggled at how stuffy that sounded, then quickly checked the rest. She sighed. Nothing for her. Still somewhat intrigued by the packages, she sprinted down the driveway, back up towards the school.

"Hey, like, guys! Look what we, like, got in the mail!" Kitty shouted, as soon as she had reached the front room. Jamie immediately ran over.

"Does it taste good?"

Kitty looked strangely at the boy, her left eyebrow arching towards the ceiling.

"Um, I don't, like, know. But somehow, I, like, highly doubt that."

Kurt, seeing the packages in her hand, leapt over and snatched them.

"Kurt, like, give those back! They're not yours!"

Kurt, who was hanging from the banister, peeked at the tag. "Vell, it says to 'zhe Xavier Household,' and I am part of zat household, so, technically…"

Kitty growled, and phased, 'walking' up through Kurt and the ceiling above him.

"Hey-" Kurt, surprised at this sudden move, lost his grip on the banister, and fell, hard. By the time Kurt had gotten up, Jamie had already snatched the packages, and was motoring his legs as fast as they could go, in the direction of his room. Before he had a chance to get there, Xavier's voice echoed in his head.

_Jamie, I hear we had an interesting package delivered in the mail. Could you bring them both up?_

Jamie scowled, as he felt Xavier call the rest of the household.

_They probably won't like the candy anyway._ He thought grumpily. He was just heading upstairs, when he heard and ear-piercing shriek. His heart in his throat, he forced himself to run towards the scream, which seemed to originate from the professor's study. He recognized that scream all too well. Last time he had heard it, Kurt had cut Kitty's hair, as a 'joke'.

_It's going to be a long day,_ he thought tiredly.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update, but no, I'm not dead. I typed up the first chapter on impulse, even though I couldn't really keep updating the story at the time… But here's chapter 2!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for Ray's hat. 

Kitty's shriek echoed throughout the whole mansion, and brought the rest of the inhabitants rushing hurriedly towards Xavier's study, where the shriek had originated. When Scott, the first to arrive, burst through the door, he came face to face with Kitty, who was… laughing? So too was Kurt, who was rolling around on the floor behind Kitty. Even the Professor was hiding a grin.

Scott's brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to process this. If it hadn't been Kitty, then who-

His question was answered, as Ray Crisp appeared from behind the Professor, his face as red as a cherry, and a ridiculous thing strapped to his head, with what looked like duck tape. Scott could barely contain his grin. He stood in the doorframe, until Jean arrived behind him, and also started giggling. Ray's face became redder with each person to arrive, and soon the whole household was standing in the doorway, laughing at him. All except one…

Five minutes after everyone had calmed down; Tabitha Smith waltzed into the study amidst a household of stares. She looked up at Scott innocently, and shrugged.

"What? It wasn't me."

This just sent the room into another round of helpless laughter.

**15 minutes later…**

Jamie was the first to remember that Xavier had called them here for a reason other than Ray's horrendous- er, headpiece- and made his way through the stuffed room to Xavier's wheelchair, managing to only get bumped a couple dozen times. (This, of course, made the room even more crowded, what with 12+ Jamie clones adding to the throng) When he finally made it, he was able to shove the packages into Xavier's lap, before he was elbowed out of the way by Roberto, who was too busy flirting with Rahne to notice. (1) Xavier felt the packages fall into his lap, and immediately shouted for everyone to shut up.

"…zat was not nearly as embarrassing as ze time vhen you passed off as a girl in zat nightclub…" Kurt trailed off as he realized that everyone had stopped talking. Evan's face was a beet red. Everyone averted their eyes from the two in the middle of the room, and the Professor cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Well, our school received two intriguing packages this morning," Xavier said calmly. "I called all of you students into the study, because these packages are addressed to the whole household, so it is only right that you all be here to see what's in them." Xavier smiled round at all the students, who looked mostly bored. All except for Ray, who had escaped to the bathroom to try to part the 'hat' with his ruined hair style. Xavier looked down at the two brown-paper packages, (2) and began to carefully open the seams, as to not wreck the paper.

**5 minutes later…**

Xavier was still trying to open the package without wrecking the paper, when Jubilee 'accidentally' let her fingers slip, and some stray sparks cut through the last ribbon, and the package fell open, revealing…

"X-Men, the Movie?" Jean picked up the top case, which seemed to be a movie of some kind. "What kind of joke is this?"

Xavier looked through the rest of the contents of the package. There were two other DVD cases, labeled X2 and X3, The Last Stand, respectively. His eyebrows rose as well. "I don't know, Jean, but I mean to find out."

He wheeled out of the study, and everyone slowly filed out and followed him into the living room, then watched in mild to excited curiosity, as he slid the first 'X-Men' movie into the state-of-the-art DVD player. There was a collective breath as the screen went black…

What will happen when the Evo characters are introduced to the Movie characters? Will Logan finally have a chance to be **gasp** tall? Tune in next time for these startling revelations… and more!

I will randomly mention any couple I am asked to… which should make it very interesting. The weirder the couples, the better! (Try to restrain on the slash, though. No going overboard) Oh, and make sure to mention if the couple is Movie, Evo, or Comic-verse.

A boredom-induced, and VERY bad reference to 'These are a Few of My Favorite Things', from The Sound of Music.

A/N: Any flames or constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms. Reviews are my anti-drug!


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